If you THINK you are, you're not. If it never occurs to you that you might be, there's a horrid chance that you are, for the outstanding characteristic of the bore is his unawareness of the fact. He is too self satisfied to be concerned with his effect on others.
The variety of bores is enormous. One of the worst examples is the narrator who starts a story with his grandmother, explores every branch of the family tree, and ends up with remote descendants, while his listeners sit around in a state of polite, helpless petrifaction.
I also shrink from the Jokester Bore: You have only to lay eyes on him to see "Have you heard this one?" rising to the surface.
We all know the Hypochondriac Bore who draws up symptoms from a bottomless well and is never happier than when giving a stitch-by-stich account of that last operation. I dread too that male- it is almost always a male- who interrupts the mildest statement with a "now wait a moment" and proceeds to put his offender in his right place. And there is the Snob Bore who manages to inject famous names into every other sentence.
We all know the Hypochondriac Bore who draws up symptoms from a bottomless well and is never happier than when giving a stitch-by-stich account of that last operation. I dread too that male- it is almost always a male- who interrupts the mildest statement with a "now wait a moment" and proceeds to put his offender in his right place. And there is the Snob Bore who manages to inject famous names into every other sentence.
Most bores begin boring with "I remember" and a heavy accent on the "I". So it's a good idea, when you find yourself remembering too much too often- especially about your family- to lay off.
Not all bores are talkative; there is the Strong, Silent Bore. In his own household he glooms his family into an awestruck hush; at parties he never opens his mouth except to put something into it.
Can bores be cured? Yes, if we recognise our malady before it becomes chronic. We watch ourselves for symptoms and, once alerted to the danger, we can take measures against it. One of the best is to stay alive and interested, not only in your own affairs but in the affairs of the world around us.
It is no accident that the man who expends himself the most, even in a dull job, is the man who has most left to expend in his own home. Never bored himself, he never bores others.
In short, to be interested is to be interesting; to be alive yourself is to make others feel alive and grateful to you.
An adaptation from the works by I.A.R Wylie
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