Something must have gone horribly wrong at the time your Star Sign was named or perhaps it was wishful thinking on the part of the person who thought of the idea. Fancy calling you Virgo the Virgin!
No one on earth could possibly be such a pure and perfect goodie as you pretend to be and, yet, you have the nerve to criticize other people’s faults and failings. All that nonsense about Virgo the Virgin has been nothing but a clever cover-up to hide the truth while you go around fooling people with your false modesty and your prim and proper attitude. You are a secret sinner and you don’t hide only the key to your skeleton closet but the closet as well. You must admit that “Virgo, the verging-on-a-Virgin” is your true Star Sign.
To be fair, you are not always a finicky fusspot but, when you do get into one of your neat and tidy moods, you are so fussy that not one tiny speck of dust can be seen and not one little thing is out of place. It is hell for people who live with you because they can’t squash the cushions, drop crumbs on the floor, leave clothes or slippers lying around, cigarette ash in the tray or soap bubbles in the bathroom. Sometimes you consider it all right for your own room to be one big mess but expect everyone else to keep things spick and span. You are just not democratic.
However, you are so straitlaced, self-controlled and virtuous that you are full of inhibitions and complexes. If you would only let your hair down and have a few outrageous flings it would take your mind off all those imaginary illnesses and your phobia about germs. Only a hypochondriac like you would have so many pills, portions, antibiotics, tonics, medicine bottles, herbal remedies, vitamins, health foods, diet charts and books on what to do for just about every part of your body. We’ll send you a “get –well” card when you go to live in Pillsville.
Dedicated to that sweet girl who bet me!
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